~Everlasting God ~ Almighty God~

First a disclaimer here. I want you to know that I have a few reasons for blogging here. One is to let you know what is going on with Mason for your awareness as well as to know how to pray for us. Another reason is that it is very therapeutic for me. And lastly, this is one way that I can chronicle parts of my life. So this post falls into the last category. I don't want to forget today. So you're not allowed to read this!! JUST KIDDING!

Here goes....

I love our pastorate group!!! We met today and God really used this evening to speak to me very deeply and personally. Most of the time I am easily able to contain my emotion until I'm in a private setting. Not tonight. I couldn't even sing the first song and had to leave the room during the second one. As we sang 'Everlasting God' these words pierced my heart: "strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord" after the song the question was posed: "what does this mean? to 'wait' " Hope was one of the replies. I realized over the last few weeks I had been placing my hope in brain surgery for Mason. And today's news from the doctor, that it is unlikely that Mason can have the brain surgery, was crushing. So God was redirecting my vision to Him in this song. Other words in this same song: " defender of the weak" reminded me not only of Mason's condition, but that I, too, am weak. God alone is "our hope, our strong deliverer".

God continued during the next song, 'Almighty God'. "life itself; your perfect plan--- it's all for Your Glory". Wow. God's perfect plan in Mason's life is to glorify God!! Not my perfect plan! Not what the world thinks his life should be.

Later on, we had a discussion on the life of Joseph and how his life was quite up and down; favored son who was sold into slavery by his brothers. Then had the good life in his masters home only to be sent to prison: not knowing when he would get out or be rescued. Yet through all of this, his faith and obedience and commitment to God was unsurpassed.

The other thing that crushed me today was coming to the realization that Mason is having a lot more seizures than I thought he was. The unlikelihood of him having surgery means the rest of his life will consist of trying various medications that may help here and there, but will never render him seizure free. Today I feel like I'm in that prison of the constant battle against the seizures, not knowing when we will be rescued. Yet the same God of Joseph is my God. My Rescuer, the Ancient of Days who has always been and will always be who knows and sees all. My Comforter, Almighty God.

So this is my prayer, that my life will reflect that my hope is only in God, no matter what my circumstance is, that I will always be faithful and obedient to Him. May the Lord help me. Everything is for His glory.

So, if you read all the way to the bottom here, I have a request of you: if you are going to pray for Mason and our family, put this at the top of the list: that our lives will reflect that our hope is only in God, no matter what our circumstance is, that we will always be faithful and obedient to Him.

Everything is for His glory.