lightheaded, feeling my heart race a bit, very scattered mind ( I'm use to some scattered mind:)
This heaviness has been hanging over me all day. Other than a few bits of distraction, toys, friends, watching the Olympic torch go past our house.
I keep talking to Mason about what is going to happen, and he seems to be sort of ok with it. I ask: where are you going? "hospital', what will the doctor do? he puts his hand on his head, what will Mason do? "cry".
Barney theology song: "can't go over it, can't go under it, can't go around it, have to go through it!" That silly little song ran through my head a lot in the early seizure years. But it really rang true. Sometimes God takes us over, under, or around our difficult situations, but often we have to "go through it".
From Romans 8: "...You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.) ... For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering."
This is reassuring to me. For I do have His Spirit in me and if He will have me sharing his glory and suffering with him, that means He is WITH ME. :)
hmmmm feeling a little lighter.....
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